This entry may run towards the “sickenly sweet” for some of you, so consider yourselves warned!
I love my husband. Okay, there! I’ve said it, I’ve admitted it, and I show it! There has been no earth-shaking event that caused me to share this with you; rather, there have been a compilation of everyday loving moments, moments where my heart swells with a happiness that causes my lips to curve up in a Cheshire cat smile.
Michael and I met in 1997, a time when my definition of the perfect relationship was “You keep your place and I’ll keep mine. We’ll see each other perhaps once a week and we’ll travel together.” If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans! Fast forward several months: I turned 50; Michael and I married; I became a mom of an 8 year old (Josh) and a 16 year old (Lauren) and had no stretch marks! Michael had lost his wife to cancer and was a single parent. Years before that, I had lost my only child, my son David, to a sudden death when he was 2. As Josh (no longer 8—now 18 but just as sweet and loving today) said, “God put us together! You needed a son and a husband and we needed a mother and a wife!”
Needless to say, I faced some challenging times with my new (to me) teenage daughter—resistance, resentment, rebellion, reconciliation, and, as of today, a mixed bag. Josh and I bonded immediately. When he was 10, I told him I wanted to have him “freeze-dried” so he’d stay just the way he was forever. A year or so later, he asked me if I was glad he kept growing up? I smiled, hugged him and told him I was so glad for every day I could be his mom.
Now, back to my love story: Michael and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage in May. That is certainly not a long time for many of you and I doubt you’ll find that statistic in any record book; however, I am convinced, truly convinced, that we have met before, and that, at some future time, when we have passed from this existence, we will meet again.
Michael and I have a 24/7/365 (plus leap year day) relationship. We live together, we work together, we dine together, and often, we play together. I could not imagine this type of arrangement working for me. I need my space—and I get it; I need time for my friends—and I have it; I need my independence—and we are interdependent not codependent.
We just spent 10 days together exploring Ancient Egypt and many times we caught ourselves smiling, holding hands, and delighting in the ability to share this time together. Many of my friends comment that it’s easier to be kind to a stranger than to a loved one. Sorry, guys, that’s not true for me! What I have is so precious, so special, so sacred—I find myself working harder on kindess, respect, and love at home than with people I don’t know.
Before falling in love with Michael, I couldn’t tolerate imperfections in my partner. We all have “warts” and somehow I’d focus on the warts and lose sight of the person. Today, I so love Michael and because his warts make him who he is, I love his warts even more! Maybe that is what love is all about…