Two weeks ago Michael was leaving the airport parking lot (which,btw, our landlord expertly designed!) and we were chatting on the phone. Suddenly he said, “I’ve got to go! I just was in a crash!” CLICK!

Stunned, I looked at the phone as if it was a “live feed” video camera and I could view what just happened. Realizing I was holding a plebian telephone and not a high tech device, I put the phone down. “Okay,” I said to the committee in my head, “What do I do now?” Hannah the Hysteric suggested I call 911. That suggestion received boos and catcalls. “An obvious overaction—as usual…” yawned Anna Arrogant. “Call Michael back RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW! HURRY!” demanded Ina the Impatient. Rhonda the Reasonable prevailed with her suggestion that I wait for Michael to call me back before taking any action. Thus, my mind quieted and the committee in my head went back to their usual bickering.

Michael did call back after a few minutes of my watching the clock. An airport bus driver was apparently overly eager to leave the parking lot to return to the safe haven of Terminal B to await homeward bound passengers—or—to be real—the bus entered the main road of the parking lot without yielding to the cars already on the road! I am very “fonda my Honda” but it is no match for a heavy-duty airport bus. Michael was able to drive home—slowly—and we immediately took the car to the body shop for repair. Our insurance company arranged for us to use a rental car while ours was being fixed, a Chevy Cobalt. I’ve been driving the Cobalt for 2 weeks now (does the insurance company get a cut of what we pay the car rental company?). Here’s my review of the Cobalt: it is small (like a Honda Civic) and I love the size! It is definitely “no frills”—as in manual windows and manual door locks (does performing those actions count as aerobic exercise?)! It is not the peppiest car I’ve ever driven but it gets me where I need to go. It doesn’t get very good gas mileage compared to my Honda Accord—hmmmm. It’s a boring beigy, goldy, tan color—typical of rental cars. Have you noticed that rental cars are rarely painted colors you and I would normally pick? You can have the beigy, goldy tan; non-intrusive silver; electric eye-squinting blue; and, occasionally, white (usually reserved for vans). If you want something snazzier—either by color or style, you’ll be shelling out more money!

The manual locks “thing” has me worried. I found that I could lock the doors (how many calories do I burn reaching across to the lock on the passenger side’s door?) and walk off—easily leaving the keys in the car. There is no automatic alarm or locking system that politely reminds me, “Hey, Bozoski (ask Michael about that name!), you left your keys in the ignition!” So, I’ve become obsessed with the keys to the Cobalt. I get out of the car, keys in hand; I stand beside the car and look at my hand to be sure the keys are still there; carefully, I put the keys in my designated “key spot” in my handbag (one of the few “designated” areas in that “black hole!”). I live in absolute fear of leaving the keys in this rental car! Life must be way too serene for me to have time for this kind of paranoia!
‘If you think locking your keys in your car is terrible, watch this!’